I don't know what is going on with me, but I have been feeling pretty blue lately. I tried to figure out what is causing such depression, and a friend said it is just all the stuff that we have all been through the last decade, not years, but a freakin decade. I think trying to be strong has its limits, especially when trying to keep it together while the rest of the family is hurting. I believe it is my season of just being for the first time, and not being on emotional high alert, it has been taking its toll. I still remember asking God to give me the heart and mindset of 100 righteous men. People take advantage of women, but when women think like men it scares them out of their pants. I finally had to ask the Lord to take my request back sometime last year. Especially, the mindset of a man, dealing with people who would take advantage of a hurting family is detestable to me, and a mans mindset sure came in handy.
There has been a lot of good stuff too. Nathaniel just graduated high school and is slowly doing his own thing; which I think is great! I've returned back to school to study art. Geez, I feel a lot better even writing about this stuff. When Nathaniel was small he used to say, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" from the movie, "Finding Nemo". Unfortunately, I am not a good swimmer, so I'll just dog paddle my way out of this blue stage. Boy, I miss thinking like a man. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming . . .
Just Keep Swimming from "Finding Nemo"
No comments:
Post a Comment