Ethan

I met Ethan several years ago when he was working in the ER. I was not sure of him at first,we would talk a little. Though,  I came to love him like the Lord loved him. He would share some things of his life, but then would shut me out. I let him be. I know he liked when I would call him mijo, a term I use on occasion with some of the younger men in the ER. It is a term of endearment, and anyone under 35 years of age, well are kids to me. I would have a 34 year old son right now, right now. . . . I had not seen Ethan in awhile, I really did not think much of him, but, I was told that Ethan had taken his life.  At first I tried not let it affect me, but the pain is there. He was 25 years old. He had to be in such anguish.  Ethan impacted so many lives, including mine.  This tobacco chewing, smart mouth, nature loving young man will be missed by many who loved him and will carry the pain of his death.  Good bye Ehtan, you will be missed, mijo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lindsay the Brave

For my friend, Lindsay.  I will miss you .  .  .  .

 

 

"Brave"  "Touch the Sky"

 

 



JESUS, ER and Covid

Well, without sounding like every mouthpiece in social media.  We are still in the stay at home order from this pandemic.  I am still working in the ER which has its own challenges.  Precautions are taken by everyone in the hospital, but the ER is the first line of defense or if I could say of patient's coming in to be seen for possible COVID.  We are not in the same numbers as New York, New Jersey, California and Washington state, but we have to follow the mandates of the state until the 26th of April.  My son has been a great help, he has the bottle of disinfectant waiting outside the apartment door when I get home, and I spray my shoes.  I then change out of my clothes and throw them in the wash immediately.  It has been a process.  At times I feel so drained, but then I think about the doctors, nurses and every single person working to keep the ER running smoothly without incident.  I work as a patient access rep. and my risks are supposedly low, but we go into patient's rooms, and sometimes after the fact that the patient is positive for COVID.  Something that irks me to no end.  I will be working the next couple of days, but then I have been asked if I would take some time off until May when I can return back to work.  I am considered a high risk.  Unfortunately, I have to take some of my vacation days, but I figured it would be good to take some time off.  I am okay with finances, and I understand why it had to be done. Though sometimes I analyze more than I should, but God has it under control and I trust Him.

I have been working in the ER for over five years now, and I still love it.  I suppose that things cannot always stay the same, and I do not know what changes will be made while I am not working.  I told my son that this might be an opportunity for reduction in force.  We are slow in the ER.  Many patient's who actually follow the stay at home order wait until their chest pains are unbearable, God bless them.  But, we do let patient's know chest pain is an emergency.  They just felt that they should not come in because we have asked the public to only come in emergencies.  Please if you are feeling ill beside COVID symptoms, please come in to be seen. 

I have a friend who is in the hospital, she is in her 30's and has been on oxygen for awhile because she had lung issues.  I met Lindsay in the ER, she helped me a lot.  We became friends and we would go out for whatever.  She is a lovely young woman and has been dealt with brain cancer and lung issues a couple of years ago.  I am worried.  She messaged me earlier today that she was really sick, but did not go into details.  I have been praying for her. Father, please help her.  I also lost a gentleman friend of my son, Nathaniel and myself.  He was 92 years old and passed away last week from COVID.  He was an active man and tough old guy, his name was Richard.  He is with our Lord in glory.  Another friend lost her brother, a week in a half ago.  He died in an accident and my friend also found out she is pregnant.  Father, please comfort and bless this family.  They will have to view the funeral through satellite.  How things are becoming.  I remind myself every day that God is in control, and He is.  What satan meant for evil, God turns into good. 

The one question I believe people are asking themselves lately, is this scripture coming to fruition? The end times? One world order, government, money and religion.  Maybe.  Maybe, we are witnessing the unraveling of it.  Am I scared?  Concerned, but my prayer has always been that the Lord would give me courage and a fire in my spirit to share the gospel.  Jesus is waiting. If you confess Him as your Lord and Savior and repent from your sins, giving yourself completely to Jesus because he is the only one who can save us, and that is the Gospel Truth!

 

       

Feliz Ano Nuevo!!

A new year has begun.  My post will continue to be sporadic, but I will share how life in going.  As of this moment I am doing well. The Lord has been gracious and merciful.  My son and I moved to a cute apartment and my son and I feel good here.  God is good!!  I am still working in the ER, I know I can hardly believe it.  It will be five years and I still believe that that is where I need to be, at least for a little longer.  The nurses and doctors that I work with are phenomenal, but change is always constant. I miss the people that have gone off to other venues in the medical field or follow another dream.  It always feels like the ER is losing another family member when somebody leaves.  A dear friend of mine has taken to becoming a traveling nurse, her next assignment will take her to New Mexico.  I will have to go visit her in the Land of Enchantment.  So much happening in the world and especially in our country, such uncertainty, but not for God.  He knows what will need to happen and if we read our bible we will have insight too.  It requires accepting Jesus in our heart and believing that he died for us.  Last year one of our ER Techs passed away, she was my age.  She suffered so much in the end, the cancer had ravaged her body, her name was Cindy.  Cindy was a tough woman, but had a beautiful heart.  She was creative and loved Todd Rundgren. She will be missed.

I have been doing well.  I need to see a specialist in the near future for my brain.  I am not sick, but it is for preventative measures.  I am so tired of seeing doctors, but it is what it is.  My friendships are becoming a little sporadic too.  My work schedule is tough with friendships and relationships, which the latter is whatever.  Ha.  Working in the medical field can take its toll, but I believe it is a calling.  I do not work medically with the patient, but I do have to acquire information from them.  I see so much of everything, and I learn so much.  The patients and doctors are always willing to allow to watch certain procedures.  The body is so fascinating. 

I was thinking about a friend that I hurt several years ago.  I wish we could start up our friendship again, but the ball is on his side of the court.  I sometimes believe that he is reading my entries to this blog.  You know Mr. T Sax you can contact me and I am sorry.  I hope you have forgiven me.

Well, I must go.  I hope that you all have a wonderful year.  May God's love, joy, peace and especially Jesus salvation be known to you in such a personal way. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

For Cindy .  .  .  .

"A Dream Goes on Forever"

Todd Rundgren