This past Monday was my ex husband's birthday. He would have been 59 years old. It has certainly been a journey for my son and myself. We still talk about my ex, Cal, and remember him fondly. I know it sounds weird, but, with all the mess we went through. He was a good man before the manusha of life got too real for him, it can get too real for all of us.
Anyways . . . .
My son had made a couple of CDs with music that my ex loved and played these CDs at Cal's memorial. There were a lot of great songs, but Cal loved the band KISS. He had seen them a couple of times in Philadelphia where he grew up. The song that my son had added on the CD was "Beth." I love that song and I could still see my ex sitting back relaxing have a glass of tea. You thought I was going to say, "a beer." HA Yeah, he sometimes would have a beer too. I do miss Cal. I miss our talks, smoking Hookah, drinking gin and tonics, sitting by the fire pit and enjoying the evening in our backyard at our 100 year old home. He was truly one of my best friends.
It is hard not to forget what my family and I were put through by Cal. He was drowning in his darkness, and there was nothing I could do. I believe that God took mercy on Cal and took him home. I know the desperate love that Cal had for the Lord, and I know now, Cal is who he should have been from the beginning of time.
Happy Birthday, Cal. I am sure it was a great one for you. God always gives His best to his children.
Well, it has been quite a while since I have written on my blog. Believe me, I have so much in my head to write about, I just don't give myself that luxury to write anymore. This blog has always been entries about family, love and my ever quest of aligning my life to some normalcy. Though, my family and the idea of love will always be there, I realized a long time ago that there is no normalcy, anywhere. No matter how hard I try, its just not a possibility. So, with that being said. If you have read my posts I usually try to stay out of the realm of politics and religion. No, Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship. Let me be clear about that.
Anyways . . . . .
I am currently in a conundrum of sorts. I live in a cute 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment, which I have lived in for over three years. It has been my home and sanctuary. Yes, one bathroom, it works. So, with that being shared. I have been cautiously open about the situation with the state of Colorado making pot legal. Please, understand, I understand the necessity to escape the realities of life and the medicinal attributes of this weed. But, I for the life of me cannot find it necessary to alienate those of us who choose not to participate in the fogging of the brain. Personally, I would like to keep my brain intact, it has been put through a lot.
Well, let's get back to why I am writing this entry in reference to pot. The apartment complex I live in allows people to smoke the now legal substance in their apartments. Now, these apartments I live in were built back in the 1950's and have thin walls and shared vents. Do you see where I am going with this? Yes, my upstairs apartment has become the equivalent of Jeff Spicoli's van, some of you might know who I am speaking of. The smoke is unbelievable. My clothes smell, my apartment is smoked filled, my son suffers from migraines and my dogs become agitated. Really?! The sad thing is that the management is not very supportive with my complaints. They feel that I am making a big deal of the pot smoke, but in all frankness I really don't give a shit if someone wants to warp their sense of being because they can. By all means smoke away, I'll be seeing you in the ER. I am not a prude, and I have had the privilege of enjoying this ever intoxicating high of the real good stuff back in the 80s and early 90s. The stuff that people smoke now smells like urine, and believe me working in the ER you can pick up on the urine smell.
I have had four different apartment managers since I've been here, and I have been here for three years now. They all have the same schpeel, "Pot is legal now, so, yes, people can smoke in their apartment." And when I ask then why are people are not allowed to smoke cigarettes in the apartment, because cigarettes are legal too. They have no solid answer, all these managers tell me that cigarette smoke is not allowed, but since pot is legal it is allowed to smoke in the apartments. As long as the pot smoker blows the smoke out the window and has a fan blowing the pot smoke out a window. HUH?! Now, does that sound as stupid to you too?! Yeah, that is what I am dealing with. It is very frustrating, I guess these "managers" are toking on the alternative to cigarettes, because smoke from second hand cigarette smokers can be dangerous. Ummmm, joints give off smoke too, does it not have the same consequences?! It boggles my mind, and I cannot believe that I have the sense to understand that, and I had the brain surgery!! HA!!
Well, needless to say. I do love the apartment I live in and moving can be so stressful. Coming up with the down payment of a deposit and first months rent could be very draining and paying application fees to every person who is renting can be down right ridiculous. I hope it doesn't seem like I am whining, and if it does, well tough shit!! The apartments in Colorado Springs have gone up substantially, and the people who have lived in this magnificent state are struggling too. It is a sad shamed. We have many moving from out of state, not for the beauty of Colorado, but because pot is legal. And these same people don't give a shit about the grandeur of Colorado's natural beauty. These "outsiders," leave their trash everywhere and graffiti is becoming a problem too. When I ask people why they moved to Colorado, many of them are blatant and tell me that they moved here for the pot! Yeah, no hesitation with their answer. It is very unfortunate for many of us, who are trying to make it in this beautiful state and then be bombarded with people who do not appreciate Colorado and demand financial help from the state, and do not work to put into the "pot." Where does all the revenue from sales tax on pot go? I knew that pushing for pot to be legal for those who suffer severe pain and illnesses was just a cover for the real agenda of making it legal for recreational use. Not all Coloradoans want people that do not care about our state. And, shame on the politicians who do not care to live in the urine smell in the air, rising crime and just a grimy feel to the state, because in all realities your propaganda was a sham. Now, about the apartment issue. I am still praying about that situation. I have a week to give the complex manager my 60 day notice. I could use some prayer for a decision and wisdom and realizing that those who should be looking out for the communities interests, are really just blowing smoke up our skirts.
