Colorado's Aspen Glow

I love John Denver's song, "Aspen Glow."  It is possibly my favorite Christmas and Winter song. I am so blessed to live in beautiful Colorado; this is my home on this side of heaven.  I want to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 

 

John Denver, "Aspen Glow"

 

 



"And a Merry Christmas to you"

I love this time of year.  My writing will be very limited.  Whew, aren't you the lucky one. I believe I am in Christmas overload. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One year anniversary

December 17, 2013 was my one year anniversary, from my divorce.  I cannot say that it was not sad, because it was.  Not that I miss my ex-husband, but a whole family was rooted from its foundation.  I cried a little, but I mainly was thinking of how my boys were both affected.  It is so much bullshit to know that someone could be so selfish and not care that they are hurting their "loved ones."  My son and I are healing, it is a process.  Maybe one day my ex will realize the hurt that he caused his family.  I don't hate my ex-husband, I just feel sorry for him.  He had it good, not perfect, but good.  My ex wanted, what he wanted.

You may be asking how I coped with being divorced a year, or maybe you are not asking, but I will tell you.  Prayer, forgiveness, acceptance and going forward.  Every single day.  Now, last year I had purchased a bottle of champagne, only I was going to use the champagne in memory of my wedding anniversary as a divorced woman, but it just did not feel right.  So, last night in honor of my 1st year as a divorced woman I opened my first bottle of champagne.  Yep, I didn't shoot my eye out and didn't give myself a concussion.  After I had my drink of the bubbly I placed my wedding glass in a plastic bag and smashed it against the counter.  It was closure and it was odd seeing the pieces of shattered glass, almost poetic, like a shattered marriage.   

 

 

 

                                                                                                              

Do and Say

One should never believe when people say that they are good at this, or they know that, or they are just too wonderful for WORDS.  Words are words, but action, well that is where it's at.  I used to tell my ex husband to never trust someone who spoke highly of themselves, unfortunately he was one of them.  It is interesting when I meet someone and they go on about how they do this and do that, but I watch for the fruit of their words.  No action then it is just cow dung which is flung out into the fields with every empty word that was spoken.  I met someone like that not too long ago, with the exception of my ex; I must be a magnet for scrambled letters in the wind.  This person had the poetry of words and I admit I was almost taken in, but I would stand back and wait to see what they would do.  When I did not respond to this person's expressions of what he claimed he would do, I believe it made him realize that he really was full of crap.

I like to watch, listen, read, feel and know that any person I meet is genuine to themselves first.  It is okay that one is broken in every sense of the way, it is what makes one real.  We live in a world that is so shallow that we miss the beauty of realness; the scars which could be physical or soulful.  We ignore the bruises of life, that when viewed we can still smile and have a wonderful joy. 

I was thinking about the people in my life and I realized something.  The majority of my friends are doers of life.  Genuine real broken people who not only speak their dreams, but pursue them with everything they are and do not stay down for too long in their mire, but rise above it with glory.  I admire and love them so much. I am so blessed. The encouraging words that are shared with my friends are a loving balm to our souls.  The doers of life and not just the flapping of lips. 

So as I type these words for the world to read.  I just want to encourage you to strive for what God has planned in your life.  Because it is the doers who take the chances with their dreams, no matter how insignificant it may be to someone else.  It is a spoken word in your heart and soul that will go out and the designer of our dreams will magnify our words into great things.

Photo taken by Lilia A.

From the spoken word of the Creator of all.

 

                                                                                                                                                                              

 

 



Birthdate

Today is my birthday.  I am now in my prime; whatever that may mean.  I thought I was in my prime 10 years ago.  Whatever . . .

So, being now of the golden age, aha.  I am.  I cannot believe it either.  No I can't.  Yes, I am still cute. :)

My friends and co-workers decorated my desk and cubby.  They will also be having a luncheon for me.  My son's favorite quote right now is from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", "You look so OLD!"  Yeah, I raised him well, the little bastard!

So, with that said.  I will be having cake and ice cream this coming Sunday.  Also, the Bronco's are playing the KC Chiefs.  And yes, my birthday is today.  Now, how could I get myself into some trouble .  .  . unfortunately, I am a bit melancholy.

 

 

From my "Big Fat Greek Wedding"

 

 







It is a very cold night.  We had some snow in Colorado Springs.  The drive this morning to work was not too bad, also I went in late.  The drive back home was not too bad either, we were able to leave work early as to still have some daylight while driving home. 

Well, I guess you may be wondering how my date went last Friday.  Let's just say it was nice, but not what I expected from the gentleman that I met.  Don't get me wrong he was nice, but he was almost 15 minutes late.  Not a good sign.  We had a nice dinner, but he had to leave early and return home as his 12 year old son was home alone.  I totally understand that, I had a 12 year old son too, not always wise to leave them alone for too long.  Anyways, we talked and laughed and I was also asked out for a second date, with some hesitation I said, "Yes." I think he picked up on that, I hoped he did.

The thing is the gentleman was handsome and pleasant but there were some inconsistencies, especially with the man I was writing to and the man I met.  I was attracted to him physically, but my internal voice still had some reservations.  Well, it is Thursday night and I have not heard from this gentleman as to make plans for our second date.  I believe he will try to contact me tomorrow to make plans, unfortunately it will not happen, not from me.  I already made plans for the weekend. 

This gentleman and I have been communicating earlier this week, but nothing mentioned about our date.  Also, our communications were rather short.  I believe this is what one calls the "kiss off."  All I can say is that  I am proud of myself for putting my toe in the water.  I had my first date.

 

 

 

 



The Broadmoor - November 9th, 2013

I was supposed to meet someone for coffee, but due to a family crisis we cancelled our meeting.  So, being the kind of gal who doesn't wait by the phone I decided to go and have my coffee and my favorite chocolate raspberry torte at the Broadmoor.

Anyways . . . . .

I made the best of the morning and I enjoyed myself immensely.  I am learning so much about who I am.  And I am learning that I am someone who enjoys those moments of solace, not all the time mind you, but I do enjoy them when I have them.  I enjoy just being.  I walked around this magnificent building and started taking photos.  It is an amazing feeling of getting to know oneself and not being conscience of being alone.  I like that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                             

Photos taken by Lilia

 

Changes

I wrote the following almost a year ago.  A lot has changed since I saved this entry.  I have a second chance at everything.  I am enjoying so much without the constant concern if the other person is okay.  I care if someone else is okay or not, just it should not consume me and dictate how I should feel.  Ever!  Well, now that I am maturing in my life's experience; let me just say that I am looking forward to what the future holds for me.  Now, the following is an entry I made a year ago, but did not publish until now.

Change especially after divorce is not so easy and not so hard.  I think the other shoe has fallen.  Listening to friends advice on what I should do now varies, everything from dating to just being alone.  Right now I am going for the latter.  Being alone, especially when a vulnerable heart is on the line is a definite downer.  Mourning a marriage is not as cut and dry as I hoped it would be.  There is a lot of reflection on oneself.  I do not have the regret of the divorce, but more why I didn't do it sooner.  Also, I find that divorce does not have the same stigma it had when I was growing up, but then again what does.  I am enjoying this new found singleness quite comfortably, though I must admit the loneliness can sink right into the pit of ones stomach, but now I have learned to embrace it.  Do I still feel lonely?  Yes, but now I can go on with my life and actually start living for the first time.

 

Ingrid Michaelson, "The Chain"

 

 

 



Intact Skull

Lately I have been noticing people and their heads.  I try to remember how it feels to have an intact skull.  No trauma, no one messing with my brain; just normalcy.  I do believe that I will have some normalcy again.  One day all this drama will be a faint memory; the memory of surgery, stupor, rehab, family issues, life decisions.  There are moments where I cannot fathom why I had to go through this, then it occurs to me that this is what God let pass through his hands.  I remember telling my boys that anything that happens to us whether good or bad has gone through God's hands first.  It is good to know that God has been involved with all the details of the good or bad that comes to our lives, it is comforting.  I don't want to sound like a downer, I am very grateful for my healing.  I just recently had my third and last surgery on September 19th.  There is a relief of not going through anymore surgeries and healing time, though I am recuperating for the next six weeks.  In all honesty I am so much looking forward to returning to work!  Yikes!

Anyways, today was my first Sunday that I was able to attend service.  It was good to see my dear friends and listening to my Pastor's sermon, it was something I needed to hear.  I love my church!  A great group of people.

Well, I feel a little better.  I know my skull is healing as I sit here typing this blog entry. . . . yeah right  : )   It is nice to think about the good that surrounds us.  It helps to remember that the Lord is among us.  It is good to know that I am doing well, and I am looking forward to what God has waiting in the palm of his hands; it will all be good.

 

The gray has got to go . . . ha

 

 

 



In Memory

This posting is in memory for those lost on September 11.  The month of September also took my mother, Juliana in 1982 and my son, Sergio in 2009. 



Hot Air Balloons/Labor Day

Leave it to my son to volunteer and help a friend with their sponsored hot air balloon this past Labor Day Weekend.  Unfortunately, I was not able to help, but my friend considered me part of the Crew.  I was their photographer.  The "Colorado Springs Balloon Festival" is held every year during Labor Day Weekend.  I had attended the balloon glow, once; 13 years in Colorado Springs and I never attended the actual balloon lift offs.  Anyways, being a part of something so fun was worth me getting up at 4:45 am in the morning.  I had park my vehicle quite a distance from the hot air balloon set up, so I moved my car.  Memorial Park was packed with people and I started to have an anxiety attack.  My son, Nathaniel, God bless him, called me and asked me where I was.  He came and escorted me from the parking lot, placed his arm for me to take and lead me to where the crew was working.  After I pulled camera out of my bag I started taking pictures.  It really was a phenomenal experience.  Since I could not help with set up I was one of the balloon chaser, they are the people who drive and follow the balloons.  Once the pilot of the balloon radios to direct where they will be landing, we meet them at their destination and then help with breaking down balloon.  What a rush!

 

 

 

My son, Nate. Great heart!

 

                                                          

 

I call this picture "In-between hot air"

 

Soft landing.

 

I love this photo!

 

This process is called, "burping."

 

Nate placing deflated balloon in large duffle bag.

 

These gentlemen have to sit on

 bag to get all the air out.

 

As we were driving back to Memorial Park,

 this balloon was landing. 

 I believe it flew by two red lights.