Needs and Autumn

I gave my son the news about the upstairs apt this morning.  He was asking that we should go into the office and offer to replace the toilet ourselves.  You know, I do not want to pay $185.00 more on rent and buy a toilet for a house that I have to fix or update.  I felt a little relieved and told my son that not being able to move upstairs was the issue, but the deceitfulness of the management company.  I should have read the reviews on their website, their deceit is a common practice, now I know.  So, I will need to finish the remainder of my lease, but I will start looking again.  God will provide.  I am hurt and at my age I am trying not to be so cynical, but maybe a little cynicism is needed.  Not all who smile and pretend to care do, I tell my son that all the time.  Maybe, I have to remind myself of that.  You would think that a woman my age would know that, and I do, but I do give people a chance.  Once I am screwed over I do not hesitate my treatment on them.  I am cordial, but never trusting again. We are NOT perfect, but I grew up and raised my sons to honor their word, it shows a man's or woman's character when their word is honored.  Good to get that off my chest.

Anyway .  .  .  .

I believe the Lord is giving us what we need, instead of what we want.  I trust God and follow His lead as the head of my home. 

It is Halloween today.  I cannot say it is my favorite holiday, but it is in the middle of my favorite season, Autumn.  I did not buy candy for tonight.  I do not know if children will be coming by for treats.  I am not in a festive mood for Halloween, but I did decorate for Autumn.  My little apartment looks so homey and warm.  I did get rid of a lot of Autumn decorations before we moved into this apartment, it was time to scale down.  I am glad I did and didn't, but decisions need to be made when scaling down.  My home would be so decked out with Autumn leaves, pumpkins and my turkeys.  Unfortunately, I had two broken turkeys, it was a little upsetting and they could not be glued.  It seems that gluing broken things is not what I want, I told my son that I have had so much brokenness in my life, I did not feel that gluing these turkeys would help.  Please, don't get me wrong, I am extremely joyful, but I am choosing not to hang unto things that cannot be fixed.  Especially, when so many of us are so broken and do not want healing.  I want my son to grasp the beauty of life and the blessings.  Yes, the world is unraveling in such a rapid pace, but we have to choose to be joyful, not blind, but finding joy in God's arms. 

Well, I will sign off for now.  Two entries in one day.  I guess I needed to express my disappointment,  but I need to accept these small blessings and enjoy the smallest needs are better than our large wants.

"Midnight Crow" Acrylic on canvas, artist Li lia



Lack of integrity.

It is 12:51 a.m. Halloween morning, early, early, morning.  I could not sleep after reading an email from the rental management company I rent from.  They had sent an email to inform me that they would not be able to rent the upstairs apartment because I requested too many things to be updated or fixed.  I only requested a new toilet.  They also added that I would be charged for breaking my lease downstairs.  Sad to say that this company has no integrity.  I am assuming that they are wanting more on the rent than what they offered me.  You, know in Colorado Springs, one can rent a one bedroom apt for eleven hundred dollars, so a two bedroom, one bath house with garage will probably bring in thirteen hundred dollars.  These greedy slumlords!! I will need to find another place to rent.  I am really unable to buy at this time, but I will start looking for a decent place to rent.  The state of Colorado allows slumlords to flourish.  I take care of my place and keep it clean.  I am a hurt because the vice president of this company sold me a bill of goods.  The place needs minor work, but these slumlords act like there are too many request for fixes.  I am upset and I hope that these slumlords would have the decency to at least replace the windows, which I can tell you they will not.  I wonder if these people live in the same shit holes they rent.  Right!!  I am done with people who are deceitful, with who they are, what they do and what they say.  I am glad that the Lord helped me to refrain myself when I emailed the rental company back.  I kept my integrity intact and responded with respect.  After some thought, I believe the Lord wants something better for my son and me, so I just pray we do not have another flood in our apartment, and that I can find a rental where the management cares about their renters and rentals.