Well, I had my knee replacement done on December 13, 2017. All I can say is I am glad it is done and the pain is immense. Oxy has become my friend, though I do limit the intake. I have noticed that every six hours seems to work for me. I am also taking Aspirin and Tylenol. My biggest hurdle right now is going to the bathroom, you know what I mean if you ever had had surgery. I know it might be a little TMI, but if you read this blog I tend to be a bit of an opened book. And, since prayer is my biggest ally. I am requesting prayer for my bowels. Thank you, they are appreciated.
Anyways . . .
I had a friend stay with me last night until my son came home from work. It was a nice visit, but I was exhausted by the time she left. I also broke out in a massive rash, who knew I was allergic to raspberries. I don't eat them much, but now I know. Everything is okay. The body is an amazing mass. I have to move certain muscles I didn't even know I had, but it is to stimulate my leg to move. Lifting this bad boy is too much, my rehabilitation with start soon. I am blessed because they will come to my home for three to four weeks. Also, they are sending a nurse. Why? I am not that needy. I am getting around my apartment with my walker, I am sure the neighbors downstairs just love the wheels and banging of my walker hitting the wood floors. It is what it is. I cannot help it.
I am just amazed on how fast it went. I made a decision for my leg in June of this year and now it is done. My doctor is good and took care of any concerns or questions I may have had. He is not someone who likes to chat and visit much, but he knows his stuff. I kind of like that. My dear son, what a trooper. He deems himself well as a young man. My son watches out for me and asks me what I may need. Though, I do like to do things on my own. I mean this morning I made my coffee and walked my cup over to the dining room table, and I didn't spill. Another hurdle jumped.
It was weird walking with a new knee, but it does have strength and will not break while walking. I was afraid to place weight on it, but I have taken the stairs and walk around my apartment well. Though, I do not want to become too cocky, I do not want to fall.
My friends have been phenomenal and I appreciate their help and concern. I will keep you up to date on my healing. I pray that God protects me from any injury and I pray that God will give my son strength and comfort in his spirit and heart. He did have a hard night last night at work. I encouraged him, but I know he was stressed. I told him before just because people have money does not mean they have class or care about other peoples things. He has seen that behavior over and over since he has been working in a very up scaled hotel. It is what it is.
If you are reading this blog, please continue with prayer of coverage for my family and me. Also, complete healing and strength for me. Prayer for comfort and peace for my son. Thank You!!
"Forrest Gump"
My son, tagged this video to me. He said, now I can run like Forrest.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day, and I enjoyed it immensely! I had three friends come over for dinner and we enjoyed our meal until our bellies were so full. We talked and laughed about different topics, mind you, these people did not know each other, but they clicked. I had invited my friend and neighbor Janet, she is a very loving and kind woman, and she has been a blessing in our lives. I also invited a friend and co worker, Edgar. He has family in Denver, but he wanted to stay in the Springs, but had no plans for dinner. I had invited him several weeks ago and he made the green bean casserole, which was awesome!! I also invited my friend, Jeff. Now, Jeff and I go back about seven years. He has modeled for me on several occasions while I was doing some art projects for an art show. Unfortunately, my son, Nathaniel was not able to have dinner with us. His work schedule did not allow his spending the holiday with me and my friends. Though he did have something to eat after work, of course, the stuffing is his favorite. And, if I may add, I make my stuffing from scratch. So, my Thanksgiving was wonderful! Thank God for to go containers.
There has been so much going on. I will be having my knee replaced in the near future. It is in God's hands, not mine, so there is no sense in worrying. He has it all in control. I finally had the work in my van done, though, it still needs a little more work, but that can be taken care of in the near future. The mechanic that I used was great and helped me prioritize what needed to get done. So, day trips, here we come!! It has been almost two years that we could not go far with my car because of issues, and I am not able to buy a new car. I cannot afford the payments. So, I will drive this van for awhile until I can get my financial situation more settled.
I am signing off for now. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day, because I did. God is good!!
Nathaniel set up the table for me yesterday, before my guests arrived. I so appreciate his servants heart. I love you mijo and thank you for being a decent young man. Stay humble in everything you do, and remember to do everything in the service of our Lord.
It is almost 9:30 a.m.. My son is still asleep and the only sound in my home is the clicking of my laptop key and the low music I have playing in the background. I went out and had physical therapy, came home, took the dogs out and now I am blogging. It is a cold morning, the heater just kicked in and now my apartment will be wonderfully toasty. I have quite a few errands to complete this morning, but I wanted my son to sleep a little longer. He started a job about a month ago, he works in a very luxurious hotel in town, and he is enjoying it. My son had been looking for work for awhile now, but because of his seizures he was not offered a job. I know employers are not supposed to discriminate, but in some way, I don't blame them, but of course they will never say that that was the reason he was not considered for jobs. His current employer has been gracious and my son is thriving in that environment. I pray for my son everyday, that he does well and is given favor from his employer. I will continue to pray for that, he tries so hard, and he is doing well.
Work for me has been going well. Never a dull moment in the emergency room, I believe I thrive in the chaos of it all. I do not have hands on contact with patients, but I do go into their rooms and register them for the ER and do all the insurance paperwork. I do enjoy my job and I have met a lot of interesting and good people. Yes, I have also met patients who are just not happy and can you blame them?! I know that some of the patients are scared of their illness and the uncertainty of what is going on, but it gives me opportunity to pray for them and make them feel comfortable. and safe. God definitely placed me in the right place. Thank you, Father. I am truly grateful!!
A friend messaged me yesterday. Her son is hurting. I prayed so hard for him and for my friend. It is difficult as a parent to see our children hurting, no matter how old they become, in a mother's eye, an adult child is still a mother's baby. No. I am not being weird here, but a mother would understand what I am saying. My friends family was flying in from another state to be with their mom and sibling. I will not go into details, but if you read this post, please pray for my friend and her son. Pray for healing and restoration on him and that his burden is placed at the foot of the Lord's throne, and left there.
Well, I should sign off for now. I will wake my son up and see what he would like to do. He works again tonight. I believe I will make a steak and shrimp dinner, and why not?!
There is a young woman who I work with, I will call her, Bree. Bree's daughter is needing some major surgery for a large omphalocele, which is a rare defect in the abdomen and leaves the liver and other organ's exposed, so this surgery is not a minor thing. This little girl is very precious to Bree and this ordeal is taking a toll on this young mother. Bree and a friend and Bree's daughter will be driving up to Boston tomorrow, it will be a long trip. I sent a message to the pastor of a church I use to attend in New Jersey. I was a member of that church for many years and I remember the pastor always saying that Christ is for everyone and as a church we need to help those in need. I wrote this pastor and asked him if the church could be a sort of safety net for this mother and child. I explained the circumstances of the child's surgery and let the pastor know that it would be helpful if the mother knew there was a group to help her if she needed it. It is now Thursday, October the 19th, and I have not received a response. I sent the message on Thursday, October the 12th. I am so disappointed. It is not like the pastor did not have time to respond to my message, he had been using social media to let people know that he would be having oral surgery. It would have taken only a minute to let me know that they would not be able to help. Another let down from the church, it is heartbreaking.
Then I remembered a sermon this particular pastor shared about Country Clubs, and how the church should never become a Country Club. Unfortunately, this church has, and those who do not fit the "Christian" criteria, are not welcomed. Really?! That is not the same Lord I follow, and I am grateful that our Lord, Jesus, came to those who were sick and broken. Not all us live in big homes with white picket fences. I may sound bitter in this entry, and I just might be, but I believe I am more hurt and disgusted by the leaders of these church's I attended. Writing this entry reminds me of the hurt when my son Sergio died and no one from the church called, even when we were trying to have his memorial. And when my ex husband died, not one member from the deacon community reached out, not even the pastor. Yes, my ex had issues, but his desperation for God was more real than any pastor who jumps around praising God. A show is just that, a show, but I believe a broken spirit has more value to God.
So, keep your high laced Country Clubs because my faith serves a God who humbled himself, to die on the cross. No Country Club will ever hold a light to that LOVE.
What is it about this time of year that has me yearning for some beautiful moments from the past. Kisses that left me breathless and wanting. What is it about the shadows from the past that haunt my heart. Maybe, because I let them. I was remembering how happy I was that several years ago I fell in love. I enjoyed that feeling, and I am glad that it happened. It has been awhile, but none the less, it did happened. The shadows of the past that creep into the deepest part of my soul help me realize that not all is lost. The shadows of the present help me realize that it is okay to enjoy a man, if only for the moment, then I go on. Though, I do not want just moments, I want a shadow to be a permanent silhouette and not fade.
I woke up this morning feeling my body capable of doing a small walk with the dogs and some stretching. I took my vitamins and drank my water and out the door I went with the munchkins. No sooner was I out the door that an old neighbor, who I loved, stopped her car and got out and we had a wonderful visit. As I was enjoying my conversation with this woman I felt my body starting to hurt. My knee was stiffening up and my right shoulder was starting to hurt, again. I hate getting old, but I still took my dogs out for a little walk and enjoyed the crisp morning. I promised myself that I would start walking again. I need to do it for me and the girls. Last year I fell and hurt my back, long story, but it had something to do with another dog, and the owner was a jerk. Anyways, after six weeks of physical therapy and hot pads, Tylenol and exercises, I was doing better, but I had gotten out of the habit of walking. Mind you, I was walking over two miles a day and it felt great. I was getting in great shape and my moods were tremendously great. Then the fall. It was last September and I am not completely the same. I feel tired, sore and old. So, last night I asked the Lord to give me determination to get back into my walks, hikes, and wanting to bike. I know I am not young, but feeling stiff and beaten down does not help either. I live in Colorado, DAMN IT!! I need to get back into the groove of things and not let life's little incident stop me, honestly, I don't believe it ever really has. As for my shoulder, well another round of PT and my knee, well I will be having surgery to replace the knee. Long story on that one, but it was a lifetime of living with a deformed knee. So, I am excited and a little wigged out because I will have a piece of metal in my knee. No Bueno. Well, that is the way it goes, and I hope it will help. Yep, I am getting old. Though, I must admit. I did beat my body as I was living my life, I believe we all do. Now, I will continue enjoying the rest of this beautiful crisp day, after I complained like an old woman, and get to doing stuff. I believe I have a skull to paint.
I usually have Friday's off from work, but I picked up a shift today for a co-worker, who wanted to attend a concert tonight. I figured I could use the mula, but I am exhausted, I didn't sleep well last night. As a matter of fact, I have not been able to sleep well for a while. Insomnia? You think? Anyways, there is a lot going on in my head, always. HA! Though, I am enjoying the morning and just relaxing. A cup of coffee sounds great about now and a warm bowl of Cream of Wheat with blueberries sounds delish! My son if off helping one of the families from church clean out their garage, I believe they are planning a Yard Sale. So, he will be gone for awhile and I will not see him until later tonight. My dogs are resting and enjoying this windy day. I love having the windows opened and just letting the outside breeze refresh my apartment. I still have two large containers waiting for me to start decorating my home for the Fall, as you may all know, Fall, my favorite time of year!
I can hear the Air Force jets flying over, possibly doing maneuvers. I need to pray for Puerto Rico, Texas, the country of Mexico and states who are still fighting fires. Father, please HELP US!!
I try not to bring too much of what is going on in the world into my blog, but I will not shut out the world. So many people are suffering, makes my problems and issues seem like nothing, and they are. God is in control. Always.
I sometimes feel that I have a frivolous life, and in some ways I do. Not that I am being irresponsible with my life, but that I have the freedom to enjoy the simplicity of my life, and I do. But, at this moment it feels frivolous. Am I grateful? You bet I am! Prayer has always been a force that I know the Lord hears and cares what happens to us. I know some of you may not believe that, and that's okay. But, that is what helps me with what is going on in the world, the suffering is immense at times it feels like I am drained. I try not to take people or things for granted, one never knows when it will be taken away.
So, with a prayer that the Lord will keep my son safe and healthy. That those who are dealing with issues greater than ourselves, Father I lift them up. For the patients who will be coming into the ER with fear and anxiety because of a health issue, I lift them up. Comfort them Father. Please, Father, use me tonight, that I may show your love and kindness in what sometimes is a bleak moment. Father, help us all enjoy some frivolousness in our lives and to be THANKFUL everyday.
I believe we all have standards, with family, friends, job and loves. My friends tease me because they feel that my standards in a man are high. I didn't realize that the love for Jesus, honesty, integrity and patience were taboo?! I want to meet a man who loves the Lord and has a good heart. It is possibly. Integrity in a man is important, actually it is important for all of us to have integrity. Though sometimes it feels like it is lost in some of the men I have met. I have made some mistakes that unfortunately, I do regret, but I go on. Do I want to make the same mistakes?! HELL NO!!! I am learning and very quickly! This wide eyed woman is realizing that some men do not deserve to stand beside me, and I am not hesitating to move away anymore. It is sad to see that grown men over fifty have learned nothing from their mistakes, and continue to make them with women they meet. How sad.
I am not perfect by any means, but if I give 100% in a relationship, I want that 100% given back to me too. Though right now, I just rather be alone and enjoy my time with family and good friends. I realized the other day, I do not want to put any effort into a love relationship, I just want to be. I have a dear friend who wants to be married again, I don't get that. I do pray for her, that God would send her a good man that would cherish her, because her ex husband did not. Maybe, that is what I am afraid of, not being cherished. I know how that feels, it cuts your very soul. Believe me, I still admire an attractive man, at least what I find attractive. And, unfortunately, I sometimes get let down because some of these men are douche bags. I am not impressed with men who have a good wife and these "husbands" are atrocious!! I wonder why these women stay with these men, then I realize, I did.
Please understand I do support love and marriage, just not for me right now. I am okay with being alone. I know, that if God wants me to meet someone that will be the man that I need, He will make it known. I will wait on God's choice for me, because I am not choosing well. God will find that man who will get my oddities and be patient and kind with no reservations. God will find that man who challenges me in my passions. God will find that man who knows that he is accountable for his treatment on me, I don't think men realize that. I know that when the Lord sends that man He has chosen for me, it will be by His standards, not mine.
Another rainy afternoon in Colorado Springs. I so LOVE the rain, especially when it is a thunder storm. My son just left to help out at church. I hope he is not soaked, he walked over and it started storming minutes after he left. Yes, I worry, I guess I always will. At least my Neurological PA feels I should not worry, what good will it do. I guess she has a point, but it keeps me in touch to the realities of life. I mean right now we are in the midst of North Korea's threat to our country. I thought the biggest threat to our country are those who live in America and do not stand by her.
Anyways . . . that is for another blog.
Right now I am content, worrying, but content. Yes, I always write how God has everything under control, and He does. The Lord has never let me down. He has been faithful, and has been there when I have needed His help. He has covered me in Love and given my son favor. I guess I needed to remind myself how I was created. A splash of whimsy, a dash of sarcasm, a pinch of melancholy, a smidge of kindness and a bushel of strength. That is just the way I am, and I like it!
On June 27th, my friend Scott celebrated a birthday, so I treated him to breakfast at, The Pantry, which is located in Green Mountain Falls. The Panty is about a 45 minute drive west of Colorado Springs. Afterwards, we drove up to Pike's Peak Highway and saw several beautiful lakes and enjoyed our drive up to Pike's Peak Mountain, it was phenomenal. I had been to the Peak before, and had taken the Cog Railway, but driving is a different thing. I am terrified of heights, I did not drive, Scott did. I so appreciated that because driving up 14,115 feet is nothing to sneeze about, and many people hike up the Peak. I so admire these phenomenal hikers who trek to the top, it is a feat that would exhilarate someone for the rest of their lives.
Green Mountain Falls, Colorado
The drive to Pike's Peak begins.
It feels like we are taking off from a runway. You can almost touch the sky.
Photographing Scott, photographing the horizon from Pike's Peak.
Descending the Peak. The beauty that is bestowed upon us on this earth from a loving God is magnificent. He does speak to us everyday with his glorious design and creation.
Every year the Old North End which is located near downtown Colorado Springs, has a massive yard sale. And, this year was not a disappointment! Actually, this was only my second time attending this massive barrage of STUFF. Now, the Old North End is the older part of the Springs with its massive houses, which was the hub of aristocrats back in the day. The grand homes with so much history and apparently, so much STUFF. My best friend, Ginger, my son, and his friend all got together and we walked up and down the neighborhoods looking for lost treasure we needed.
My son found himself some fantastic finds. He also showed himself as a haggler of sorts, he is definitely good at bringing down the price on STUFF, it must be his boyish looks. We scored big!! I did purchase a fly fishing rod for almost nothing, the young man who sold me the his equipment never used it!! Now, I need to take it to the Fly Fishing shop and purchase a reel. Also, I purchased some liqueur glasses and a small flat screen television, that works! I believe I spent about $25.00 for everything I purchased. I know, I know, I don't need more STUFF, but I didn't buy STUFF. I purchased dreams!
Anyways, if you are ever visiting the Springs, keep a look out for the massive Old North End yard sales. It is so worth the day walking through beautiful neighborhoods and searching for the right STUFF!
Today would have been my 31st Wedding Anniversary. I was a little melancholy, but, it is what it is. I went out today and ran some errands. It was good to continue living my life and going about my business.
No, there was not a celebration, but just more tears for what could have been. I will be okay, I just needed a moment. It will be all good, it always is.
Changes are inevitable. Relationships, with friends seem to run their course. A mutual course, but it is still painful. Work has been a little stressful, not so much the ER, but the new program that was installed. It sucks!! It is not very user friendly and it takes its user through so many rabbit holes. What a mess. Other than that I still enjoy the job. My living situation is still going. Unfortunately, I may have to sign another year lease and paying 100.00 more on rent. It is insane, but I have not found any other place that would be under what I am paying, so I am staying. HA! It will be tight, but I am trusting in God's timing on what to do. I have been considering buying a house again, but I do not know if I want to stay in the Springs. I have written in the past that I feel it is time to go, and maybe that is why I am giving myself another year to become proficient in this Epic joke, but there are other hospitals that I may try to get into. God will direct me, but it is not time yet. I may end up buying a house and dealing with the bullshit of maintenance, but it would be cheaper than rent. I don't know.
My son, has been diagnosed with seizures/epilepsy. It just tore at me. We are still running test with his eyes too, he had lost his sight on his right eye momentarily last year. The neurologist suspected a stroke, I was floored. But, thank God that was not the case. We are trying to change our lives as to not to overstress ourselves. It can be a little hard because my son is always going. So, I just let him be. God has his hand on him, and my son does rest when he has to. He does monitor himself. Our Father has him, and I trust that with everything I am.
School is calling back to me. I do not have many classes to finish to get my Associates. Wow. I do not know if I want to continue with school after that. We will see. I thought maybe getting into Art Therapy, but I just do not have that motivation right now. I am always tired. I've been checked and I may have some depression. You think?! With all the crap that my son and I have gone through, it finally has caught up with me. It sucks trying being stoic when everything around you is falling apart. Conversations with the Lord are my treasured moments. I will give Him the glory for sustaining me. I love Him with every fiber of my being, I love His hand that envelopes me. Life can be trying at time, and in all frankness, I know I would be in deeper merde if I did not have the Lord in my life.
Now, back to my current relationships. I will tell you now, I am a very basic person. I do not care for all the new fangle dangle crap that is out there. I still have a land line and drive an old mini van, which I love. It gets me to where I need to go. I don't wear the latest designs or have jewelry to flaunt. I dislike it when people want to change me and want to dress me like an over aged 20 year old. I know how old I am and I like to be a little more conservative with myself, even when I was young I didn't need to flaunt myself. I am comfortable with who I am, and I like who I am. So, FUCK OFF!!! If someone is that vain and shallow, please step aside and get out of my way. I don't have time for that kind of foolishness. Give me a decent hiking trail, loving and kind friends, a night out of music and dancing and I am good!!
Life is complicated enough. I live to serve the Lord, though I have been laxed on that too. I will not seek out those who do not believe in uplifting each other, but putting people down. PLEASE!! Your insecurities and low self esteem is showing. I am pulling away from toxic people too. Yes, I know they are everywhere, but I do not have to add to the poison. I know how to walk away. I have done that before, and I know others may have done that to me too, and with good reason.
So, now that I have vented and shared my pain, frustrations, joys and my own insecurities about the future. I hope that those who are in Christ will pray for God's guidance upon my family and me. I ask for direction, knowledge, stronger relationship with Him and above all to live according to His will. Again, changes will occur, whether on my or someone else's accord, and as long as God's hand is setting the road before me.
This past Monday was my ex husband's birthday. He would have been 59 years old. It has certainly been a journey for my son and myself. We still talk about my ex, Cal, and remember him fondly. I know it sounds weird, but, with all the mess we went through. He was a good man before the manusha of life got too real for him, it can get too real for all of us.
Anyways . . . .
My son had made a couple of CDs with music that my ex loved and played these CDs at Cal's memorial. There were a lot of great songs, but Cal loved the band KISS. He had seen them a couple of times in Philadelphia where he grew up. The song that my son had added on the CD was "Beth." I love that song and I could still see my ex sitting back relaxing have a glass of tea. You thought I was going to say, "a beer." HA Yeah, he sometimes would have a beer too. I do miss Cal. I miss our talks, smoking Hookah, drinking gin and tonics, sitting by the fire pit and enjoying the evening in our backyard at our 100 year old home. He was truly one of my best friends.
It is hard not to forget what my family and I were put through by Cal. He was drowning in his darkness, and there was nothing I could do. I believe that God took mercy on Cal and took him home. I know the desperate love that Cal had for the Lord, and I know now, Cal is who he should have been from the beginning of time.
Happy Birthday, Cal. I am sure it was a great one for you. God always gives His best to his children.
Well, it has been quite a while since I have written on my blog. Believe me, I have so much in my head to write about, I just don't give myself that luxury to write anymore. This blog has always been entries about family, love and my ever quest of aligning my life to some normalcy. Though, my family and the idea of love will always be there, I realized a long time ago that there is no normalcy, anywhere. No matter how hard I try, its just not a possibility. So, with that being said. If you have read my posts I usually try to stay out of the realm of politics and religion. No, Christianity is not a religion, but a relationship. Let me be clear about that.
Anyways . . . . .
I am currently in a conundrum of sorts. I live in a cute 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment, which I have lived in for over three years. It has been my home and sanctuary. Yes, one bathroom, it works. So, with that being shared. I have been cautiously open about the situation with the state of Colorado making pot legal. Please, understand, I understand the necessity to escape the realities of life and the medicinal attributes of this weed. But, I for the life of me cannot find it necessary to alienate those of us who choose not to participate in the fogging of the brain. Personally, I would like to keep my brain intact, it has been put through a lot.
Well, let's get back to why I am writing this entry in reference to pot. The apartment complex I live in allows people to smoke the now legal substance in their apartments. Now, these apartments I live in were built back in the 1950's and have thin walls and shared vents. Do you see where I am going with this? Yes, my upstairs apartment has become the equivalent of Jeff Spicoli's van, some of you might know who I am speaking of. The smoke is unbelievable. My clothes smell, my apartment is smoked filled, my son suffers from migraines and my dogs become agitated. Really?! The sad thing is that the management is not very supportive with my complaints. They feel that I am making a big deal of the pot smoke, but in all frankness I really don't give a shit if someone wants to warp their sense of being because they can. By all means smoke away, I'll be seeing you in the ER. I am not a prude, and I have had the privilege of enjoying this ever intoxicating high of the real good stuff back in the 80s and early 90s. The stuff that people smoke now smells like urine, and believe me working in the ER you can pick up on the urine smell.
I have had four different apartment managers since I've been here, and I have been here for three years now. They all have the same schpeel, "Pot is legal now, so, yes, people can smoke in their apartment." And when I ask then why are people are not allowed to smoke cigarettes in the apartment, because cigarettes are legal too. They have no solid answer, all these managers tell me that cigarette smoke is not allowed, but since pot is legal it is allowed to smoke in the apartments. As long as the pot smoker blows the smoke out the window and has a fan blowing the pot smoke out a window. HUH?! Now, does that sound as stupid to you too?! Yeah, that is what I am dealing with. It is very frustrating, I guess these "managers" are toking on the alternative to cigarettes, because smoke from second hand cigarette smokers can be dangerous. Ummmm, joints give off smoke too, does it not have the same consequences?! It boggles my mind, and I cannot believe that I have the sense to understand that, and I had the brain surgery!! HA!!
Well, needless to say. I do love the apartment I live in and moving can be so stressful. Coming up with the down payment of a deposit and first months rent could be very draining and paying application fees to every person who is renting can be down right ridiculous. I hope it doesn't seem like I am whining, and if it does, well tough shit!! The apartments in Colorado Springs have gone up substantially, and the people who have lived in this magnificent state are struggling too. It is a sad shamed. We have many moving from out of state, not for the beauty of Colorado, but because pot is legal. And these same people don't give a shit about the grandeur of Colorado's natural beauty. These "outsiders," leave their trash everywhere and graffiti is becoming a problem too. When I ask people why they moved to Colorado, many of them are blatant and tell me that they moved here for the pot! Yeah, no hesitation with their answer. It is very unfortunate for many of us, who are trying to make it in this beautiful state and then be bombarded with people who do not appreciate Colorado and demand financial help from the state, and do not work to put into the "pot." Where does all the revenue from sales tax on pot go? I knew that pushing for pot to be legal for those who suffer severe pain and illnesses was just a cover for the real agenda of making it legal for recreational use. Not all Coloradoans want people that do not care about our state. And, shame on the politicians who do not care to live in the urine smell in the air, rising crime and just a grimy feel to the state, because in all realities your propaganda was a sham. Now, about the apartment issue. I am still praying about that situation. I have a week to give the complex manager my 60 day notice. I could use some prayer for a decision and wisdom and realizing that those who should be looking out for the communities interests, are really just blowing smoke up our skirts.
I just finished packing all my Christmas ornaments and decorations. I am not a big fan of packing . . . anything. I find that when packing whether for a trip or holiday decorations it is a temporary beginning and end. It is like that with things of the heart, sometimes one has to unpack the hurt to go on with life. One has to get back to the process of life, like working, eating, sleeping, etc. I lost a friend this past week. Again, my heart was given freely and it didn't kill me, just hurts, but even that will pass. I am grateful for being able to care again, and I believe I am wiser for the ware. I will miss you, Mr. Scott. I hope that you will be happy. I saw you clearly and you are a good man, but you are packing so much hurt, and I believe it is time to unpack your pain. I will always care about you. Blessings on your journey. Now, I will continue my journey; though I cannot see too far ahead, but I know that blessings and adventure are waiting for me. I have faith in my Lord, Jesus, who gives goodness in abundance; and that folks is a great trip to pack for.
Today I went on a road trip to Canyon City with my friend, Ginger and my son, Nathaniel. It turned out to be a great day trip we all needed. I was going through some personal soul searching, so what is freakin new?! Ginger and I were able to have a ongoing discussion about our friendship, family, love and current events. I must say our conversation lasted throughout our entire drive. We can just be ourselves. We enjoyed the beauty of the day. As much as I love to drive, my van needs some work, so Ginger drove her car. It is refreshing to be a passenger on these day trips. Hopefully, by the Spring my van will have all the repairs it needs done so that we can take the day trips we are planning. I want to continue seeing all that this beautiful state has to offer!
Yikes, it has been several months since my last post. I have been a busy girl! A lot has been going on in my life. I enjoyed my holidays immensely! A new year is upon us and I am just writing on this 5th day of January 2017!! I am still working in the E.R.. I am still getting things together in my life, a continuous process. I am keeping this entry short, you'd think with all the goings on in my life these last several months I would be blabber mouthing all over the place. Maybe, all I need to do is share my last months with you in photos.
I will be signing off for the night, but before I do. I want to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I believe we need God's grace and mercy for 2017.
