Not a dumb girl

I was reading some of my email entries with Mr. Stone.  I still have the communications between us, and, yes it is process, but I will eventually delete them.  I don't read them as much and try not to read between the lines. Though, I never thought of myself as a dumb girl.  I always felt I had some things in perspective, like my reliance on the Lord, my smarts and wisdom; I am not tough, but I am strong.  Unfortunately, all this went out the window when I met Mr. Stone.  I cannot believe I am still reeling from all that insanity. I realized that I felt the same as Diane Keaton's character in the movie, "Something's Gotta Give."  This feeling of an intense connection that I believe is extremely rare, (God, I hope not!)  Come to think of it, I don't believe I felt that way about my ex, sad but possibly true.  I am grateful for knowing how it feels to connect with someone in an intense way, not perfect, but a strong attraction none the less.  Unfortunately, that would have been all we had, reality would have set in.  It wasn't a crush; it was definitely more.  I guess this is the merry-go-round of dating.  It can be fun, but I think I need to keep my heart guarded juuuuusssssst a teeeeeeeeny bit more.  :) 

 

I-25 Overpass

My son and I took our dogs for a walk to Monument Park, near downtown Colorado Springs on 1/26/15.  I have been wanting to go over an overpass near the park.  So, I brought my handy dandy camera and walked up to an awesome experience.  I am not a fan of bridges, but I am trying to get over these ridiculous fears.  I had noticed this overpass while commuting to wherever, and would see bike riders, runners and walkers take this overpass everyday. Well, today was the day to walk up to the overpass and it was fun, and I believe I took some half decent shots.  My dogs were not too happy, but they were okay after we took them for their walk.  I enjoy days like this.  It helps me stay in perspective of enjoying the little basic things of life.  I have always hated the fast pace, and I believe I always will.  I know I am not Margaret Bourke-White, I love her work.  The woman knew no fear and took some phenomenal photos, though I have no interest on sitting on a gargoyle to get my shot. I will just stand on the overpass and snap safely. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I loved the thunderous sounds of the cars

 passing under the bridge.  I am glad I did this walk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aspenglow

This is not a detailed entry on my blog.  I am listening to John Denver's, "Aspenglow."  He was the biggest influence of my love for Colorado as a young teenager.  I could see the aspen's in my mind and the majestic mountains looming over in the valley's.  I am not disappointed, not by a mile high.

 

 

John Denver, "Aspenglow"



Becoming Friends

Have you ever said something to someone and wish you could take it back.  Well, I did that not to long ago to a person who was becoming a friend.  I have known this man since the 7th grade, but we never really talked as we were growing up.  I was very shy and not what you call in the "IN CROWD" of school.  I had always admired this man and I had the biggest crush on him from junior high to high school. I did apologize, but I believe I hurt him.  Sometimes, I just need to be and stop the bitch act.  To this man, you know who you are. I am so sorry.  I hope one day you can forgive me, and I hope we can pick up where we left off, becoming friends.

 

 

A snowy night

It is snowing as I am writing this entry.  I had the dogs outside, and it was so quiet and still. I could feel the soft snowflakes gently landing on my face. Being alone in the quiet snowfall helps with a lot of reflecting.  I have been thinking of the last five weeks and how fast things can change.  It has taken me this long to feel that I am finally getting over my hurting heart.  You know, I was wondering if J.S. thinks of me, I know I think of him, fondly.  I was reflecting on another challenge in my life, you see, I lost my job on October 21, 2014.  I cannot say that I was saddened by this, because in all honestly I was not.  Though, I miss my dear friends whom I worked with closely.  That is my only regret of the job loss, either than that, it was a blessing.  I cannot say that I am not having some concerns for current employment.  I have been passed up on several jobs, but I know that the Lord is sustaining me.  There have been days when I start to think about where I am and where I am supposed to be.  There are probably many people who are possibly taking the same self discovery road that I am taking.

At my age I never thought I would be were I am.  I always thought I would be married in my own house, my son's living their own lives and making their way in this world.  Unfortunately, that is not the case, it seems that my family has been rooted in the most severest way, and there is not a thing I can do about it.  All I know is that I have relied upon God's mercy, greatly!

The solitude in my home can be a little too much.  Yes, my son lives with me, but he has his own life, as it should be.  I do miss having someone whom I can talk, laugh, cry, be angry with and be silly with.  I miss holding hands with a man and caressing his face while listening to music or watching a stupid movie.  I know one day I will have that again, but I do miss it at this very minute.  It was so nice that I had that, if only for a little while.  Well, I guess that is the way things go. I have to embrace those rare moments, and treasure them in my heart and memory, because one day, that is all I will have.

Rock Ledge Ranch

On January 13, 2015, my son and I went for a hike at Rock Ledge Ranch in Colorado Springs.  This hike was taken after an amazing snow fall.  Everything just looked so magical and pristine.  My son, Nathaniel, wanted to take photos, and of course how could I just stay in doors.  I don't think so!  So, we donned our snow boots and off we went.  It was absolutely beautiful! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 See, J.S., still knotted

 

 

 

It felt and looked magical.  Thank you, Lord!

Siamese Twins

Yesterday, a friend and I went to the garden of the gods, and took a hike up to the Siamese Twins rock formation.  It was a great hike, it will be two years this February since I took this solo hike.  It was great to share this beauty with a dear friend.  I was able to reflect and enjoy this phenomenal day.   

 

Siamese Twins

 

 

Be back soon

 

 

 

 

 

New Year, New Outlook

 

I wanted to post these photos that were taken recently.  This is me a year and 6 months later.  I am so thankful for another year and no issues with aneurysms.  I am grateful to the Lord for his graciousness in my life.  I do not have many resolutions, but my main resolution is to continue living my life.  I want to continue appreciating every small detail, even when I am in a mad rush.  Thank you, whoever is reading this blog.  I hope it brings you hope and the promise that God is always in control, no matter what. . . .

 

Cup of Coffee

 

Sometimes I just need to have a cup of coffee.

 

 

 

Sunday Walk

My son and I went for a walk at the garden of the gods on Sunday, January 5, 2014.  The park was so beautiful with snow on the rocks and some slippery moments on the walkway.  It was a pleasurable day, and an even more pleasurable taking photos.  I enjoy having conversations with my son while photographing our surroundings, it is our connection.

Kissing Camels

 

 

 

Pikes Peak

 

 

 

I can never get enough of this.  I LOVE COLORADO!

Closure

We definitely live in a very small world.  Last night I was at the grocery store in Old Colorado City.    As I was coming out of the store, who do I see but Mr. Stone.  Yes, this town is too small!  It was nice to see him.  We had small talk, but nothing of significance.  He looked very handsome and was on his way to a hike in the moonlight.  Unfortunately,  that was very soon mired by the artic blast we suddenly had come on us.  We gave each other a very tight hug and then he said, "bye."  I was a little sad, just a little.  Not because I saw him, but I knew that that meeting was closure for me.  I believe God orchestrated it.  What are the chances of seeing this man.  I mean I have been divorced for over two years and have not come into contact with my ex by surprise.  Go figure.

So, it was good to see Mr. Stone.  I may see him again, in some ways I hope I do.  Until then.

 

Russel Walder, "This Moment Now"

Great Start!

Good morning!  And a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  I wanted to share a clip  from the movie, "Something's Gotta Give." It is the scene where Diane Keaton's character has fallen in love and she had her heart broken.  I felt so much like this the last four days. My son told me that it was time to get out of my room.  Poor guy, he has to put up with his mother's insanity. ha ha  Payback!!  Anyways, this scene just made me laugh so hard!! I realized that I will be okay and it is time to get back to my life.  Laughing hard, great start to the NEW YEAR!!  And it is a great start!!