Birthday

Today is my birthday, and all I can say about it is that it "sucks!"  All my birthdays have sucked.  I have found that when someone else wants to do something for my birthday, it never pans out.  So, I have learned to treat myself on my birthday.  Today I got up, took a shower and left around 10 in the morning.  I ran a lot of errands, then I came home, no one was home, so, I took myself out to my favorite Indian restaurant and had lunch.  The hostess was so kind and gave me a free chai tea, this was after I told her it was my birthday.  My birthday, unfortunately, falls near or on the day of Thanksgiving.  When I was growing up my parents would forget my birthday, then they would realize later that evening or week.  They would feel bad and just wish me a Happy Birthday, no cake, no presents, just a happy birthday.  I was supposed to have a birthday breakfast at my favorite restaurant, Adam's Mountain Café in Manitou Springs, but it was cancelled because one of my friends had a job interview.  My son did not want to go to the restaurant anymore because they did not have his favorite lasagna.  Really??!!  Another friend was meeting a client, and another friend is going through some serious depression, and did not want to go out. We planned this breakfast almost a month ago.  I give up!  It was pretty pathetic.

When I was married, my ex somehow would ruin my birthdays.  Luckily, I would already have my plans in place and celebrate my birthday myself.  My worst birthday was when I turned forty.  I was so excited to have an actual party, unfortunately my ex was not all there and he marred the whole thing.  I had requested to buy a cake from a local bakery who made awesome cakes.  But, he insisted on making my cake.  I remember coming home from work and as I walked up to the screen door I saw my ex throw my birthday cake across the kitchen because it stuck to the pans.  I was so hurt.  I remember telling him I would take care of my own cake, he became angry and told me he would take care of it.  He purchased a cake from our local grocery store.  It was not a good party.

Now, I am at home.  My son called me from work and asked me where I had gone, I told him.  He told me that he wanted to take me out.  I don't want to go out.  I already celebrated my birthday and I am done.

Don't feel sorry for me, I already did that, but, not for long. I purchased myself a pair of lovely earrings, which I am wearing. 

I have always tried to take things in stride, but I no longer wait for anyone to celebrate my birthday's or any other holiday for that matter.  I still decorate for the Fall and Christmas.  I purchase my own chocolates and flowers for Valentine's and I am enjoying the little things life has to offer, because I know what I need and want.  I have stopped depending on anyone else making my life beautiful, God does that for me everyday, and HE treats me like a princess.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

"Fuck I'm Old!"  Sex in the City