Open your eyes

Today was the most trying day since my aneurysm surgery.  I lost in a court case and now I have to pay for court costs to the opposing council and a very large corporation, the same corporation that I had been paying premiums on my insurance for over 20 years.  It figures.  I am not upset that I lost, but now I am so indebted.  What gets me is that the jury felt that my insurance company did not comply with their part of the deal, but they were unaware that I have to pay thousands of dollars to the very corporation that I had purchased security to provide help when needed.  I basically was screwed, twice.  It is very frustrating.  It was a 50/50 gamble, and I lost.  I could use a miracle about now, but I will just have to accept the fact that life is not an enchanted place.  I believe I need to remove my rose colored glasses now.  I do not want to become a woman who is bitter and angry, I've done that route before.  I just need to accept the basic facts that not everyone has a full tank in their lives, some of us are barely coasting with fumes.  I am grateful for all that I do have, even though I am losing most of it.  I guess I do sound a bit upset, and I am.  Even after I got home the cursing just would not stop.  I will try not to worry too much, but I will probably have to file for bankruptcy.  In this junction of my life who gives a rip anymore.  I will do the best that I can do, that is all I can do.  Even though the tears would not stop flowing and I am so ever thankful to the Lord for giving me the strength to fight, and it was a good fight.  I will "do whatever just to stay alive," I will.  You know, I could maybe wear a fainter pair of rose colored glasses.  I mean really, they do help when dark days come.

"Stay Alive"

Jose Gonzalez