2016

Another year is upon us!  I know I am only a month in a half overdue, but I needed to take some time and make some adjustments.  Personal ones.  My Christmas was quiet and a little melancholy.  My son, Nathaniel is grieving his father, as am I, but we are making the best of what God has planned for us.  New Years I spent at work.  Unfortunately, I missed the fireworks on Pikes Peak, which is something I hate to miss.  My Valentine's was spent with the love in my life, my son, Nathaniel.  Again, I had to work, but we spent the morning and early afternoon together.  I made an early dinner and he baked a cake.  I let him do his thing.  I feel my spirit on edge recently, as if a change needs to take place.  I know I am giving myself at least six months to a year to decide if I will continue living in Colorado Springs.  So much is going on with my life, some good and so many uncertainties.  I hate that feeling of not having some stability, but I do not believe that I have ever had that.  My job is going well.  I love my new church.  I am slowly reconnecting with friends that I shut out after my ex died.  I appreciate that they know me enough to leave me alone, and I love that they are there when I do contact them. 

Nathaniel and I went to an outing today up in Denver.  On our way back we talked about his father, and he asked me if I missed him.  I told him I did.  Then he asked me if I think about what he did, and then he went unto say that that didn't matter anymore to him.  I told my son that what happened is done, no sense in reliving that which God has closed the door on.  I also told Nathaniel that it was okay to cry for his dad, because I still did.  I do miss both my ex husband and my son.  I know I always will.  I did not want to start the new year with such a depressing entry, but when a family is torn by trauma and death, it is a process to heal.  And yeah, I am taking that time, and if anyone doesn't care for this process, go FUCK yourselves!!  Alrighty then, that felt good!!

Tomorrow night I have a date with someone I have been corresponding with since last November.  I do feel that I am ready to go out and take a chance on a little romance.  My sister and close friends are happy that I am taking chances with dating again.  So am I.

Now, that I have brought you up to speed with my crazy life.  I hope that as you have read my blog my strongest ally in life has been the Lord.  I know that I would not be able to handle everything that has happened without God's hand in my life.  Great to know that the King/Creator/Savior of the universe cares about you and me.  Yeah, great to know!!

  I so do love to laugh!!