But, Part II

Several weeks ago I wrote about a gentleman that I had met and we were beginning to develop a relationship.  Unfortunately, he lived in another state and wanted to meet me, so he flew all the way from Alaska to Colorado.  Well, I had some reservations about him and it seemed that I could not get over the but of something amiss about this man.  No, he wasn't married.  I was struggling with my feelings for this man, I knew that he was not being honest with me about his beliefs, and I was just all over the place with my emotional and mental state. I was definitely off balance, and I did not like it at all.  My spiritual state was not in check with the Holy Spirit.  I felt like I was a woman in severe drama code.  And, I HATE drama!!

 Last night I tried to have a discussion with Mr. Alaska about how I believed he was disappointed with me.  He did not want to discuss the matter and when I tried to talk to him about it tonight, he told me that he felt the discussion was done.  But, it was not.  After listening to Mr. Alaska and his love for me, he told me that we could work things out as a couple.  Mr. Alaska proceeded to tell me that that is what a couples do.  So, I had to let Mr. Alaska know that I could not marry him this November and that I needed to seek some counseling to deal with the garbage still left from my ex's crap, crap I did not want to bring into this "relationship."  Well, let's just say that Mr. Alaska bailed, first I felt he shut down and second he felt that maybe I should handle my issues alone.  HA!! HA!!  So, much for supporting each other as a couple.  To be quite frank with you, I did not feel upset about what he said to me, you see the night before I was in fervent prayer with my Father in Heaven.  I was a mess and I asked my Father that if Mr. Alaska was not the man for me, that he would break off this relationship.  So, when Mr. Alaska wanted to let me heal alone I knew Mr. Alaska was not for me. I felt balanced again.  So, yes, God does answer prayer when one is too weak and unbalanced to stop something that is hard to do.

 Mr. Alaska was so gentlemanly.  It is sad when many women I know don't fall for the bullshit of a man saying that he will take care of us.  And be there for us and blah, blah, blah!!  It is just so cliché!  I like many women know, if the man gives lip service about how wonderful he is, take it as that ladies, lip service. He is not that wonderful.  A man who truly loves a woman will do for a woman without telling a woman that he will take care of you, he just will.  I've known that for many, many years.  Believe me, I was the last person to fall for lip service, and unfortunately, I did, a little.  God is good to rescue me from the menusha of Mr. Alaska.  Yes, the Lord loves him too.  Why not, I mean the man is kind, but still just lip service!!  So, Mr. Alaska, do you understand what I am saying?!  That no one wants an ass in their buts!!

Ane Brun, "Do You Remember"