Courage and Strength

Photo taken September 2013

Today is my third anniversary from my aneurysm episode of June 13, 2013. A lot has happened in the last three years, some good, some tragic. But, God was in control of it all. Every morning when I open my eyes I thank the Lord for allowing me another day. He is gracious! Nathaniel made a CD of songs that reminded him of that awful day. He gave it to me this morning as we were driving to a friend's house. I can only imagine the stress he was under at that time, but I have some wonderful friends who were there, and supported him with prayers and love. I will be so ever grateful to all of you!! This photo was taken a couple of months after my first and second surgery, I was preparing for my third surgery in October of 2013. My hair was accustomed to a comb over. I was so tired, my nappy hair! Thanks, David!! Who recently also reminded me on how I kicked death in the ass, and how much stronger I was because of it. I would like to take credit of such acts of courage and strength, but I believe the Lord gave the first blow so that the impact on my part would not be so hard. It is wonderful to know that God went before me.

I now work in the same hospital that was my home for almost a month, and I am now in the ER, that is where God placed me. I love it!! I have had so many opportunities to pray for many who were afraid, and I have had the chance when God has allowed me to share my story with patients and their families. I follow my Lord's lead on what He wants for me and He has given me some fantastic adventures. As I write this, my heart goes out to so many that suffer such heartache with their own fights and losing loved ones. I pray and hope that by sharing my story with you, it will bring you comfort and peace with whatever you are going through. I want to encourage you and share that our Father is a good God, and faithful in everything!!

 

Rachel Platten, "Fight Song"

 

This song was in the CD my son had made for me.  I love it!!

 

 



Scattered, but Grateful!

My postings on this blog are somewhat scattered.  There are days I write about little things, the little things that still have a great impact on my life.  My two sons had birthdays.  Sergio, would have been 30 this year and Nathaniel is 24, time does fly.  Today I would have celebrated my 30th wedding anniversary, if I was still married, but if I would have been married, I would have been a widow.  I am feeling a lot better, especially with the things of the heart.  The lessons of life are never ending, which is something I am okay with.  I was thinking about all my beautiful blessings the other day.  I realized that God has been so gracious with me, it just boggles my mind, but it has helped to soften my heart too.

I look at what is going around in the world, the hopelessness that surrounds us, but I remind myself the Lord still sits on the throne and then my hope is restored.  I carry the scars of things I wish I have never been exposed to, but evil dwells in this world, and we are the pawns.  Again, the Lord restores us, not completely, but enough as we can remember where we have been. 

Another scattered entry.  I believe I am writing with some depth of my heart, which is still healing.  I  posted a photo of my son and myself.  A friend remarked that we both looked happy.  I told her that we are getting there, but you know I am joyful.  I am joyful from the deepest well of my soul.  I am grateful every day for God's mercy and blessings.  I am where I need to be for the time being.  What else could I ask for.  There is saying my son uses from time to time.  He learned this saying from a Pastor in our old church.  It goes something like this, "God is good. All the time. Especially, today!"

Yes, He is!  Enjoy yours!

My son, Nathaniel and his adorable Mother!



For Jack

 

I hope all is well in Oklahoma.  I hope you're enjoying looking up at the stars from your telescope.

 

Moody Blues, "Nights in White Satin"

 



Personal Principles

Well, my week has been somewhat uneventful.  After editing my previous entry more than I can count, and I don't want to.  I was in the midst of preparing for a coffee date for Friday morning.  I had corresponded with a gentleman last Sunday, and we had set to meet for coffee the following Friday morning at 8:30.  We had not picked a place to meet, and I had not given him my name.  So, I sent this man an email on Monday morning. I never received a response, even after he was on the website that morning.  I gave this man grace, he was a teacher at UCCS, and he may have been extremely busy with grades and so on.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went . . .  nothing.  So, I made up my mind that if he communicates with me on Thursday, I would let him know that I was no longer interested.  You, see, I believe if a man wants to do something with a woman, you plan it ASAP.  I gave this man until midnight on Wednesday.  After that, I did not want to meet a man who waits until the last minute to make plans, especially for the first date.  Not happening. 

Well, he did contact me on Thursday afternoon and sent me an email.  He asked me how my day was going.  I didn't even get a response to my questions, or even a are we still up for coffee tomorrow?  Nothing.  Well, this cheeky is not having any of that!  So, I replied to his email with my thanks, but no thanks message.  Which goes something like this, "Thank you, for your interest.  I hope you find your match.  Blessings in your search."  Done.

I feel pretty good for standing up for my personal principles.  This man is over 50 years of age, and in all those years that he was married and now divorced, he learned absolutely nothing?!  I am afraid that this is becoming the norm.  It is sad, but true. 

As a woman I need to remind myself that I am worthy of the work.  I am worthy of the trouble.  I have value and that includes my time.  The thing is this man knew he blew it, because after I sent him the e-mail, within minutes he signed off from the website. 

I am not trying to be smug about this whole situation, but come on!  If a man asks a woman out on a date, keep the lines of communication open.  And, stop being a wussy!

Chick Flicks and such

I will be the first to admit that I LOVE CHICK FLICKS!!  I cannot help it.  I just do.  Especially, chick flicks that are funny.  There is something about a girl who meets boy, who is cute and somewhat funny.  The boy is smart and a little bit of a hard ass.  The girl at first cannot stand boy because he could be such a douche, but then eventually girl comes around and falls in love with boy.  The boy now has softened his heart towards life and realizes that girl helped him.   Boy, is crazy about girl and would jump across a lake of fire to be with girl.  You know, real life stuff!

Okay, that if a bunch of bullshit, but that is why chick flicks are so fun, they are full of bullshit and women like myself eat it all up!  And, I LOVE IT!!

Now, that I have shared my quick synopses of my love for movies of love.  I just might play "Nights in Rodanthe," which I believe I have watched over a dozen times . . . yes, I have . . .  and I will not apologize for that, and that my friends is a rap.

 

 Iris Vaessen, "Maps in Bed"

 









 



Blessings from above!

Several days ago I was having a conversation with the Lord, which is how my prayer time goes.  The Lord knows my needs and the desires of my heart.  One of the topics of conversation/prayer were my blessings.  I asked the Lord for "better" blessings.  The audacity of me requesting better blessings, but what I was really asking for was not to have so much tragedy.  I believe a person could only handle so much, and though I give the Lord the glory for His seeing me through the chaos of life, I wanted calmness, security, health and love.  As I was requesting all the things that I believe are non chaotic.  I was feeling sorry for myself because I did not believe that my life was adventurous, exciting, colorful and absurdly free flowing.  I felt like such a brat, but I was being upfront with my heart to my Father.

As I gave my request and would have patiently waited for an answer, God came through in the midst of my whining.  He gently reminded me that he was there when I was dying.  He breathed life into me, for a second time, and I did not end up sitting in a corner drooling.  He reminded me of the things that I had seen, done and experienced.  I had slept on the beach of Barbados underneath the coconut trees.  I have seen phenomenal sunsets on the beaches of Cape May.  I have prayed with those who have gone to be with the Lord.  I have seen majestic mountains, lake and rivers.  I have sold some of my art.  I have worked in several interesting jobs, everything from flipping hamburgers, to working in the ER.  I have seen and done some pretty amazing things, so why my ungratefulness.  His answer brought me back down to the realization that my life has been a wonderful adventure, which includes the chaos!

 

Sometimes, I conveniently forget the beauty of God's grace in my life and the blessings that are in abundance.  He has cared for me and has placed at times complete strangers to help me, and then He has given me opportunities to help others.  I am blessed beyond comprehension, and I need to remind myself on why I started this blog.  It was to count my blessings, all my blessings from above!

 

Mindy Gledhill, "Anchor"

 

"Moon River"

Whenever I am lonely  .  .  .  .

 

Henry Mancini, "Moon River"



Geena (aka Ginger)

 

I am blessed with the most amazing friends.  They have been there for so much of my dramatic life.  Boy, and what drama!!  ha   I am so blessed to know that people care about my son and me.  But, this entry is about my friend, Geena (aka Ginger).  I met Geena at a support group for broken hearted people, yes, a divorce support group. 

 

Geena has been a true friend, not only a friend, but a best friend.  We have our moments, all friendships do, but she knows that I would be there for her and vice versa.   Geena, my son and I have certainly had our share of adventures. 

 

Geena is as close as a sister.  I am thankful everyday for the friendships that God has given me.  Especially, friendships that go the distance.  I hope that Geena and I can remain close for a very long time, definitely for eternity, literally.  : )

 

 

 Geena (aka Ginger), thanks

 for being a wonderful friend!

 

 

 



Saturday Adventure in Guffey, CO

Buffalo roaming in Divide, CO

My friend Geena and I decided to take a road trip yesterday to Guffey, CO.  I was recommended by an acquaintance that there was an interesting cemetery that I should visit.  So our adventure began.  Geena and I enjoyed ourselves!  The town of Guffey is interesting to say the least, and the people are friendly.  Of course, they are not thrilled with people moving into town and changing things up, but who is?!  We saw a lot of interesting things too.  Unfortunately, we never found the cemetery, so another road trip is being scheduled.

Beautiful to photograph, maybe even paint.  Watercolors?!  Hmmmm

Nice TUBS!

Bill, Proprietor of Guffey Garage

 

Mr. Bill took a shining to my friend, Geena

       

I think I found a date for next Saturday night.
 I believe the eyes do it for me.  Sexy!

But, this fella might be a little more fun. 

 AUGH!  Decisions! Decisions!

 

Mr. Bill gave my friend Geena and me these little hearts to remember our visit.  He makes them from scrap metal and stated that he gives them to all the ladies that come and visit the town of Guffey.  Bill was an interesting man and Guffey is an interesting town.  Definitely, going back.  There was a Café that we want to try, their BBQ smelled awesome!

 

 

C's Home

There are some homes that when you walk in, there is a certain serenity.  A personality that is totally the person who one is spending time with.  I have such a friend, and her name is "C."  I love going to my friend's "C's"  home.  Her home exudes vibrancy, an eclectic style and a Bohemian lifestyle that I truly appreciate.  "C" is her own person, with her elegant style and appreciation of the delicate, whimsical and bright colors.  I feel relaxed in "C's" home, maybe because her style definitely personifies her personality.  Even her refrigerator reflects the person that "C" is, a little OCD, but she is just fun!  Even though "C" is a quiet reserved person, one can pick up the sultry person that she doesn't think she is.  I love her cobalt blue dishes and her many bunnies in her home. "C" also collects bottle which are displayed throughout her home.  I was given a red bottle which I display lovingly in my dining room.  I admire my friend "C" very much.  She personifies everything I aspire to be.  She is beautiful, inside and out.  She is patient and loving.  She is kind and funny.  She is creative and a fantastic cook, even with her vegan lifestyle, the woman can cook!  I love my friend "C" very much and she has been a blessing to me for several years.  How we met is a story within itself, but the Lord brought us together in an unusual way.  Thank you, Lord, for "C."  She has been a blessing in more ways that I can say.  I am so glad and honored to have her in my life!

My beautiful friend, "C"

 

 

 

 

 

I believe there are sufficient magnets on her fridge. 

 What do you think?

 

 

Lilia A., "The Betrayal"

("C" is the model on the lower right corner)

 

 

 

 

 



Friday Night with America

It is almost 10:30 pm on a Friday night.  I really had nothing planned for tonight.  I talked to several friends on the phone and made plans with them to meet for dinner in a couple of weeks.  No date, no movies, no drinks, no nothing.  It is just me and "America."  I was planning to stop by the liquor store and purchase a bottle of wine, but that didn't even seem enticing.  What?!  No wine!!  ha  I will be picking up Nathaniel around 11 pm.  I figured there really was not much to do.  Bills are paid, apartment is cleaned, dogs are fed and dishes are still waiting for me in the sink.  Ummmm, those can wait.  It seems odd that I didn't plan anything for tonight.  Maybe subconsciously, I wanted it that way.  Just me and "America," and why not?  Damn!  I knew I should have stopped by the liquor store, a glass of wine would have been great right now.  Oh well, I will need to be getting out soon and then I am hitting the sack early, yeah 11:30 pm is early, at least for me.  Well, listening to one of my favorite rock bands does make up for the lack of wine, especially when listening to "America" on a Friday Night.

 

America, "Never Found the Time"



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